Cocktail muddler

Go ahead and buy a highly-rated cocktail muddler, pretend in your head that you’re going to get fresh herbs and fruit and use a special thing to muddle them with. Pretend you’re going to shake it, and strain it, and pour it out, and make a special little cocktail with a sprig of something, and wash all those extra dishes. Isn’t that precious to think about!

OK, now that we’re back in reality, make your usual cocktail by pouring half a glass of diet soda and glugging an unmeasured amount of any liquor into it.