Japanese Ultimate Electric Piston Masturbator for Men


This $280 jacker-offer comes with a plea by the manufacturer: “please, please take a chance to experience the greatness of the ultimate electric piston masturbator born out of our hardship.” It also claims that the device “massively exceeds the speed of a human hand job” and that “there might be some noise from the engine when running at high speed.” Damn straight it better have some noise from the engine! I ain’t payin’ $280 for it if it’s gonna be Edward Whisperhands.

I’ve included a safe-for-work picture here, but there are images of people using it on the manufacturer’s page, if you’re not at work.

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