Monthly Archives: November 2017

Owlet Smart Sock Baby Monitor

owlet-smart-sock-baby-monitor

In case you don’t have enough to worry about once your newborn baby has arrived, Owlet Smart Sock (that’s the product’s actual name) offers to ramp up your anxiety by measuring their heart rate. Never mind that some of the reviews say it doesn’t work reliably and shouldn’t be used as a medical monitor – pair it with Hatch Baby, the infant weight-tracking smart scale, to get yourself so revved up you’ll never return to normal.



Binch Cookies

binch-cookies

You’re a binch, cookies. You’re a binch, and a donut, and your ratio is all messed up. It’s time for some game theory.



Inscrutable Skirts

doctor-who-skirt

This company makes a variety of custom-printed skirts, advertising each as “Perfect For The Office … Or For Grabbing Coffee With Friends.” Now, we all love to grab coffee, but what does “Xmas Dad” mean in this context? Or “Football Inside,” for that matter? There are other bizarre ones, like “Rock’n'Roller, Even Just For A Day” and “Feel The Pain God Bless You,” but if you’re into weird bootlegs, half the fun is digging through it yourself.



117th Birthday Shirt

117th-birthday-shirt

There is currently only one person alive who was born in 1900. In case you think the “1900″ on this shirt is referring to something else, nope, the item’s title is “117th Birthday Gift 117 Years Old.”

They also sell a similar shirt, “Awesome Since 1899,” meant for a 118-year-old person, of which none are alive today.

Another seller offers “Made In 1897 – 120th Birthday Gift.”

The highest I could find was “137th Birthday Gift 137 Years Old Present.”






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.