Monthly Archives: December 2019

Black TP

black-toilet-paper

Only the most brutal of bathrooms can handle the gothic bleakness of black toilet paper. “I am the night,” you’ll whisper, slowly threading the expensive butt-roll through your glutes.

Later, you’ll spill your goblet of blood and reach for the same company’s black paper towels, eyes rolling back into your head as you summon Bountytoth, the Dark Lord of Cleaning.






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.