Author Archives: drew

I’m not sure what the intended market for this is, because if you believe in Bigfoot, you probably don’t want to shoot one. Then again, people drive around in cars with zombie stickers saying they’re a zombie, and also say they’re going to kill zombies, so I guess there’s room on this planet for everyone, tracing a helix through space, around the sun, towards the perimeter of the universe, into the void.

“NASA Lies,” insists this shirt attempting to make money off the conspiracy theory that our planet is actually a flat disc ringed with ice. In case you’re wondering what the argument is for the flat earth, you can hit the “Look Inside” for the very practically-titled “One Hundred Proofs That The Earth Is Not A Globe.”

“Campus Shooter” is probably not the best name for a hockey stick, guys. (Check the listing if you don’t believe me.)

Me too, buddy.

If taping a plant seed to your ear worked for anxiety, then anxious people would tape seeds to their ears, and that would be that. “But companies just want to sell us drugs!” you cry, ignoring the fact that EarSeeds is trying to sell you a seed to tape to your ear lobe.

Your Star Wars-themed kitchen is really coming together, now that you’ve got your Star Wars Popcorn Maker and your R2-D2 measuring set. 

The idea of a “bucket list” is that you want to experience the breadth of experiences available to you in the world before you turn into a skeleton. It’s only natural, then, for a company to take this idea and twist it into implying you need to watch a hundred entire television series to experience the world in full. Not just some of them, either. You’ve got to watch the entire series if you want to scratch that square off.

Then again, “marathon” now also means watching television, so it’s not new.