Author Archives: drew

Trumped Up Cards

trumped-up-cards

The perfect game for the goober in your family who insists on still saying Drumpf, “Trumped Up Cards” is the Cards Against Humanity ripoff for people whose hobby is saying they hate Donald Trump. He’s the oldest and most-impaired president we’ve ever had, but for fuck’s sake, everyone hates him. Reducing the political discourse to “Kek” versus “Orange Cheeto” castrates our ability as a society to hold our leaders accountable. But, by all means, spend hours matching Bigly to The Wall or whatever the fuck.

Annoying Teddy

annoying-teddy

Once you press the button on Annoying Teddy, it does not stop singing “Happy Birthday” on repeat, and has to be slapped or whipped against a wall to turn it off.

Sexy Boobie Sucker

sexy-boobie-sucker

You might be out in your yard on a beautiful spring day, drinking some beer or soda, and think, “I wish my beer or soda could be sexier. I wish I could suck it out of a plastic boobie.” Wish no longer, my friend.






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.