The Worst Things For Sale

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Feel like replacing part of your daily family social life with a gadget? Well, Did You Feed The Dog has you covered. Even if you don’t have a set schedule for feeding your dog, or a single member of the family assigned to the chore, or the ability to include feeding your companion in your daily routine of chores, there are probably easier ways to accomplish the task of feeding your dog. And if you can’t remember if you fed the dog, you probably won’t remember to Did You Feed The Dog your dog. But, whatever. Grease the wheels of capitalism, baby. Tape a metal sign to your house and keep the economy strong.

Leaving out my personal dislike of the phrase “zero gravity,” this dodecahedral flowerpot is only usable for plants such as the North American Pointy Leaf and the Common Stubby-Leaf due to its size and geometry. (Check out the other pictures to see how very small, and how very expensive, this thing is.)

The charm of Beer Pong, if you believe it has any to begin with, comes from its low cost, flexible rules, and need for no supplies beyond the beer and cups you’re already drinking plus a ping-pong ball. Pingbot, a motorized remote-control whatever that does whatever, adds fifty dollars to this process and requires batteries. Its true value lies in revealing the gall of manufacturers to steal the joy of our simplest, stupidest games, replacing it with plastic battery-operated garbage.

I’m sure someone will come forward on our Facebook page to tell me why strapping your iPhone to your water bottle is a good invention, or to simply type, “This product is for disabled people. It is not one of the worst things for sale.” Until then, I remain unconvinced.

This shower curtain gets even funnier when you stop taking showers because people are just filling the tub with links they agree with.

The manufacturers of this knock-off Zorb (an inflatable rubber ball you climb into and are then rolled, pushed, or thrown around inside of) quietly did not mention that a thrillseeker recently died from being pushed down a ski slope in Russia inside of one. While you can withstand minor collisions inside one of these, it’s not meant to be used to roll off a cliff and come to a stop on a frozen lake a mile away.

(Also, this is a knockoff of the original Zorb, which could make it more likely that it’ll collapse or be punctured, so even if you’re into this kind of thing, you probably shouldn’t buy this one.)