I’m bald

Let me say, first, that I’m bald. Not balding, or going bald, it’s done. I’m bald as fuck. I don’t have male-pattern baldness, other men have me-pattern baldness.

You make a decision, when you first start going bald, whether or not you want to apply hair-regrowth chemicals to your head for the next forty years. I decided not to. At $40 for a three-month supply, I’ve saved $2400 since I started losing my hair, which is enough to buy a really fucked-up car.

So, young men, going bald, think about it… do you want to keep the hair on top of your head or do you want a car that’s a piece of shit? When you see me driving around town in my piece of shit car, ask yourself if you made the right decision.