Monthly Archives: July 2022

The Dangerous Jumping Stilts

poweriser-jumping-stilts

The Poweriser Jumping Stilts let you fly several feet up into the air, springboarding across hard concrete surfaces as if you had some sort of kinetic-energy-storing devices attached to your legs. Which is great, and fun, until eight minutes in, when you fall at slightly the wrong angle and snap your fibula. Don’t believe me? Check out the review where the purchaser describes these as leaving his teen looking “like he had jumped through a wood chipper.”┬áThen he gave the product five stars anyway. Apparently, hurting a child is just what this man wanted.



Two Hundred Seventy Five Gallons Of Lube

lube-275-gallons

This item, listed as 275 gallons of personal lubricant, seems like a joke, mainly because of the price.

Maybe it’s not a joke, but there’s no way any of us could buy it and find out. Maybe it’s a way to trick blogs like this into marketing their product. I don’t know! I don’t care. People want to read this, say “haha, lube” and scroll on down to pants that make it look like you shit yourself and are wearing the shitty pants.








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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.