Monthly Archives: August 2013

Ass Goblins of Auschwitz


It’s impossible for me to say anything about this book that it doesn’t say itself. You can hit the “Look Inside” button on the listing, if you want to read more of this, whatever it is.


Ass Goblins of Auschwitz is by the author of Abortion Arcade.

Telekinetic Enhancer


The Telekinetic Enhancer allows you to develop telekinesis (the ability to physically move objects using your mind.) The manufacturer even includes instructions, which is helpful, because it’s probably pretty hard to figure out how to use magic energy on your own.

Gold Rolling Papers


“Shine” rolling papers are thin sheets of real gold you can use to smoke weed, if you have $60.

$4,950 hammock


The “Infinity Hammock” is a steel frame with 3 hammocks hanging off it. I’m not sure what’s “infinity” about it. Contemplate it while you lay in one of the three connected hammocks, I suppose.

Biofuel Caffeinated Popcorn


If you buy caffeinated popcorn, either you’re eating popcorn for breakfast, or you’re slamming pure caffeine to your face at night while you watch a movie. Maybe that’s how you live though. Backing into parking spaces, checking out with more than 15 items in the express lane… the dangerous life.

Return To Blood Fart Lake


Apparently, the movie “Terror At Blood Fart Lake” was popular enough to command a sequel. “Return To Blood Fart Lake” chronicles the further adventures of the Blood Fart gang. We can only hope they’ll make it a trilogy.  

Phantom Keystroker



Plug the “Phantom Keystroker” into someone else’s computer and watch as it types characters and makes random mouse movements. Ha ha, your computer is harder to use now and messes up what you’re doing! Owned!

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