Monthly Archives: December 2017

2018 Glasses

2018-glasses

It’s become a tradition here on this site to write about New Years’ Glasses, and this year does not disappoint. My favorite, above, is a set of “2010″ glasses where they’ve added an 8 above the last digit. You could have used one of the TWO circles in the numeral 8 to look through, but, no. The eight goes above the 2010. Goodbye 20179 A.D., welcome 20180 A.D.

These glasses miss the mark as well, inserting a hole into the 1 in 2018, seemingly unaware of the context of utilizing an existing hole in a number to look through.

And these glasses, bizarrely, dispense with the whole number-lense thing, floating “2018″ over a 3d-glasses template, and then covering the whole thing in glitter.

I posted these on New Year’s Eve, so you couldn’t buy them in time. I know some of you guys are out there buying the stuff I post. Don’t.

Happy New Year.

Bottle Not Included

flip-bottle-tossing-game

Staring out the window as snow falls, your hands curled around a hot mug, you might idly muse to yourself, in the post-Christmas silence, “I wonder if the free and simple children’s game of flipping a bottle and landing it on its bottom has been converted into a product.” I’m happy to report that it has, and it’s called Flip Challenge, and the bottle is not included.

Remote-controlled cockroach

remote-controlled-cockroach

Surprise! This cheap little cockroach toy isn’t really particularly bad. It’s only here for contrast to RoboRoach, the kit that lets you insert electrodes into the brain of a real, live cockroach, zapping its nervous system from afar using Bluetooth to control its movements.

I may be drawing artificial lines here, but it’s humane to kill a cockroach quickly to prevent the spread of disease. It’s okay to eat one for food, even though I wouldn’t. It’s also morally okay to keep a cockroach as a pet, if you take good care of it, and you don’t keep it in a tiny tube. But it crosses a moral line, to me, to stun-gun a bug’s mind for entertainment.

Wine Aerator

epare-wine-aerator

While it’s true that aerating your wine usually improves its flavor, a wine decanter is probably your best bet. It’s an inexpensive piece of glassware that doesn’t require batteries. The eparé, on the other hand, is a battery-operated piece of plastic that, according to the detailed, non-suspicious reviews (as opposed to the cheerfully vague five-stars,) doesn’t work, or breaks soon after arriving.

It’s the cousin of Sonic Foamer, the ultrasonic beer-coaster that causes your beer to fizz, a process usually undertaken by pouring beer into a glass. Precipitate too much of the gas out of your beer, and you’re worse off than when you started.

hillary-beer






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.