27 February, 2020
Unfortunately, the manufacturers went with “Silicon muscle body suit body builder,” but I think MuscleBra is a perfect name for this product, designed to strap to your weak, hollow man-chest, and make you look as though you’ve triangled your upper body through years of weightlifting. The guy they picked to model it looks pretty supremely weird, but, hey, a non-weird guy probably isn’t going to strap on a MuscleBra.
25 February, 2020
Is this a baloney sandwich with the corner bitten out of it, for sale?!
Haha, no, of course not. It’s just a wall decal that looks like that, for some reason, and you can get it 60″ wide, for those times that you need a five-foot baloney sandwich on your wall.
24 February, 2020
The “Alcohol Shot Gun” lets you dump liquor into another person’s mouth, theoretically. Of course, it doesn’t quite work as well as it’s advertised, with one reviewer claiming that half of what you put into it spills out of the end, and another reporting, simply, “This is Satan.”
23 February, 2020
In the modern world of 3D printing and offshore slave-labor, why settle for a rhinoceros statue that’s only about 1/4 the size of a real one? Get the life-size stegosaurus statue. Sure, it’s over five grand including shipping, but according to the manufacturer’s picture, you can ride the motherfucker.
20 February, 2020
Can you tell time with the Magical Dipshit Watch? Yeah, I guess, if you want to train yourself to measure the rotation of colored disks instead of just look at your phone when you want to know what time it is. At least the colored disks are cheaper than a regular— oh, wait, no, they’re really expensive for some reason.