Monthly Archives: January 2014

Little Whizzer Liquor Dispenser


The “Little Whizzer” lets you live your lifelong dream of having a little boy piss in your drink.

Sex With My Husband’s Anatomically Correct Robot: Phase 5


There are two possible scenarios for this author’s continuing series of books. Either she likes robot-fuckin’ enough to write five books about it on her own, or the demand is still so high after the first four that she was golden-handcuffed to continue the series. Regardless, there are five books with the title “Sex With My Husband’s Anatomically Correct Robot,” and they all have “Look Inside” links, so you can experience the grammar-defying world of dickbots.

The third book of the series is what you want if you’re into robot incest, by the way.

Wine Cork Holder


Wine as a decor option has always baffled me. If you have dozens of wine corks in your house, either you drink a shitload of wine, or you’ve been saving garbage for years. There is no happy option here, Person Whose Name Starts With S, Who Wants Their Name Letter Full Of Corks On The Wall. (Winos/hoarders whose name starts with B, R, A, W, or P, you’re also invited to partake in Trash Letter Wall.)

A colander and a bowl in one


The Ventu Serving Bowl costs $50. It’s a plastic colander with a wooden circle you attach to the bottom, so that it can also function as a bowl.

You can usually, of course, buy a plastic colander for a dollar.

The Passionate & Objective Jokerfan: Music Spam


In what seems to be an attempt to spam the entire music industry, a man named Matt Farley has recorded thousands of songs and set them out for sale online. “The Passionate & Objective Jokerfan” is one of his pseudonyms, and he has released ELEVEN albums under this name alone. Using the same, uh, “musical style.”

If you must, listen to “Katy Perry, You Make Good Songs” or probably any song from the album titled “Nice Man Sings Song For The People Songs Yes Now Cover Up.”

He’s got dozens of pseudonyms (The Strange Man Who Sings About Dead Animals, The Paranormal Song Warrior, The New York Sports Band, etc.) but probably the best is “The Birthday Band For Old People,” where he has recorded 17 albums’ worth of songs wishing a happy birthday to a specific person’s name. “Happy Birthday Bart”, “Happy Birthday Brenda”, and so on, over and over.

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