Seasonal dishes in the fall can be wonderful. But processed-food makers, especially candy makers, do their best to crush our spirits. Pumpkin Spice Hershey’s Kisses are gross, Mellowcreme Pumpkins are startlingly bland, and the Milky Way Caramel Apple candies are a bizarre mix of cinnamon, fake apple, and chocolate.
But the worst, far and away, is Candy Corn Oreos. They mix the “is it really even an Oreo” vanilla cookie with a yellow and orange filling designed to taste like candy corn. It kind of does taste like candy corn. It kind of also tastes like food coloring, and wax, and low-grade sugar. And, on a personal note, I hate that I had to eat them to write this blog entry. I hate that I had to eat like 3 of them to properly describe the taste. I hate everything.