Monthly Archives: July 2018

Hovershoes

hovershoes1jpg

Hovershoes are single-wheeled platforms you strap to your feet, which are powered by an electric motor similar to the “hoverboards” that were briefly popular a couple of years ago. The manufacturer insists that they’re “for people 16 – 50 year old,” though you can look at the absurdly photoshopped gallery of people using Hovershoes and see what you think.



275 Gallons of Lube

lube-275-gallons

This item, listed as 275 gallons of personal lubricant, seems like a joke, mainly because of the price (nice.)

Maybe it’s not a joke, but there’s no way any of us could buy it and find out. Maybe it’s a way to trick blogs like this into marketing their product. I don’t know! I don’t care. People want to read this, say “haha, lube” and scroll on down to pants that make it look like you shit yourself and are wearing the shitty pants.



Give Yourself The Finger

flick-off-middle-finger-mug

Make your cheap, naturally-invigorating drink a source of hostility! Try bringing this “middle finger mug” to work so you can flip yourself the bird while you’re trying to swallow enough caffeine to drag yourself through your soul-crushing daily routine. If you can’t stop the entire rest of the world from giving you the finger on a near-constant basis, I guess you can join them by flicking yourself off, to prove you’re one of them. Hey, look, I agree with you! I hate me too!






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.