Halloween costumes for men

A couple entries back I wrote about some Halloween costumes for women, which uniformly tilted towards “sexy _____.” I’m pleased to tell you that as stupid as “sexy crayon” may be, there is a flip side to this male gaze, and that flip side is a humongous, dumb boner. For every sexy lady skeleton, there is a skeleboner.

If that’s too subtle for you, how about a humongous foam dong with “Rub me!” printed on the side? Or a snake charmer, and the snake is in your pants, and you’re grinning, because, get it? A snake? In my pants?

Not obvious enough? Why not dress as a man in normal clothes who also has a boner?

Still too subtle? Fine. Enormous foam penis. Good job, everyone, give yourselves a round of applause. Really great, spooky Halloween this year, good job with all the cocks and dicks, definitely a great way to prove to the third world that we deserve this standard of living. Slam a humongo light-beer and go piss in a bowl of food and throw the food away. You show ‘em.