BabyPlus Prenatal Education System

The BabyPlus Prenatal Education System is a speaker, intended for a pregnant woman to hold up to her uterus from the outside, ghetto-blasting her unborn baby with two hours of sound a day. Not only is $131 a bit much for a speaker attached to a nylon gut-strap, but the myriad reviews left by unsatisfied parents say that it damaged their child’s hearing, affected their child’s sleep pattern, was louder than designed… and… guess what… broke immediately.

So it remains my opinion that if you want to have a genius baby, the best way is for her father to gently rap-whisper into her mother’s swollen baby chamber. “One, two, three and to the four,” I would murmur. “Snoop Doggy Dad and Dr. Mom is at the door.”