Banking on the end of society

If you’re banking on society ending on December 21 like some people said the Mayans said, now’s the time to order your Survival Pallet of Chicken. It’s ninety-eight pounds of chicken for $6,720, so I suppose you’re mostly paying for the cans. But it’s going to be great to get some protein in between when you hide in the dark basement and when someone kills you for your canned chicken.

The manufacturer also offers a pallet of ground beef and a pallet of pork, but my money’s on the chicken. I mean, it’s not actually on it, because I’m not stupid and I don’t think the world’s going to end this month.