Fundamental nature

If you buy a dog, you agree, due to the fundamental nature of mammals, that you’ll have to clean up the dog’s shit. It’s not really that horrible or gross, it’s just dog shit. If you have to use a $14 can of computer duster to “poop freeze” it before you clean it up, you’re going to go through a lot of poop freeze, and also you’re a stupid baby.

Also, you’re going to cry and probably poop yourself, with your own butt, the first time the dog pukes up something terrible it ate (like an animal, or its own poop) and then starts eating the puke.