Poppy Seeds: Nature’s Semi-Legal Opiate

Reviewers of this eight-pound bag of poppy seeds repeatedly claim it’s “unwashed”, which might sound disgusting, but in reality it means that the outside of the seeds carries some trace amounts of poppy latex. This latex contains a large quantity of morphine (and related compounds) and it’s this same latex that’s collected and processed to make heroin.

Poppy seeds like these can be cooked into “poppy seed tea”, which is an extraction of the active ingredients. Unfortunately, since the opiate levels in the residual latex isn’t quantified, users can easily overdose on their legal morphine-juice. It’s also terribly addictive, and should your supply of unwashed poppy-seeds run out, your alternatives are pills, heroin, or withdrawals. I’m no Nancy Reagan, but chugging the tinctures from eight pounds of flower seeds sounds like a great way to turn your life into a nightmare.