Synthol: Fake Muscle Bulge Oil

If you’ve ever seen a bodybuilder who looks like he’s smuggling baseballs under his skin instead of actually building muscle, odds are that he’s used Synthol. It’s a mix of fatty acids (mostly coconut oil,) lidocaine, and benzyl alcohol. It’s injected directly into muscle tissue and stays there for years, slowly being broken down by the body. As you might imagine, it has horrifying side effects, including destruction of the muscle tissue it’s injected into. Since it’s not injected by any doctor who cares about their patients’ health, it’s also susceptible to infection. If you hit a vein, it may kill you instantly. But you might come out looking vaguely misshapen, so it could all be worth it.

Shit yeah! Show me more of those synthol muscles!

Thanks, guys!

For those who don’t want to roll the dice on Synthol but want to abuse their bodies in the name of muscles, there are actual steroids available online. The most well-known and well-tested anabolic steroids are illegal, of course, but just like recreational drugs, there are derivatives with no testing or use history that can be purchased legally. One is “M-Sten RX”, otherwise known as methylstenbolone, a quasi-legal anabolic steroid known to cause liver failure. Another is “Oxanvar” (epistane), a derivative of a breast-cancer drug which, when taken in sufficient quantity to cause muscle growth, often causes the body to stop producing testosterone.

Fortunately, for those of us who are unwilling to sacrifice our health in the pursuit of bigger muscles, there is an alternative.