How do you make a hoodie worse?

The answer, as I found today, is “to make it look like a knight’s suit of armor.” I’m not sure whether the understated version (above) or the over-the-top version with attached gauntlets and shoulder plates is worse, but they’re both ridiculously expensive. Not to mention that it’s hard to create a fashion option that looks worse than a zippered blob.

In terms of knight-wear, the knitted-wool knight’s helmet that’s also a winter hat is pretty hard to beat, but we finally did it, as a species.