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24 June, 2015
Food Vault is a forty-foot shipping container, full of dried food and cooking fuel, that costs over three hundred thousand dollars. You can see the full and extremely depressing list of the foods included on the manufacturer’s listing.
Spoiler alert: You may survive the apocalypse, but I hope you like bowls full of orange slop.
23 June, 2015
The “Luxury” version of Monopoly was one thing, but Once In A Lifetime Go Board costs a hundred thousand dollars. The main selling point is that it’s made out of a single piece of wood, which, of course, is also true of any regular, fifteen-buck Go board.
The manufacturer says it took twenty years to make, which to me sounds like they’re just very bad at cutting a single piece of wood into a square.
22 June, 2015
What is it with hot sauce and the ass (the butt part of the body)? Why are they obsessed with it? I’m pretty sure that it’s just that Ass Kickin’ Hot Sauce (above) used the word Ass, and it sold well, and all the other hot sauce makers around the world figured it was due to use of the word ass. They might be right, actually, but that doesn’t mean there’s any excuse for food condiments to be named any one of these:
Those are all links leading to the products. They’re real hot sauce you can buy. You know, if you want to put Neal’s Hairy Ass on your hot dog.
21 June, 2015
You might think “umbrella hat” would be a single item, sold by a lone vendor, attempting to cash in on a bad idea. You’d be very, very wrong. In addition to Umbrella Hat, there’s Large Umbrella Hat, Fishing Headwear Umbrella, Elastic Camouflage Umbrella Hat Cap, and, of course, 4 Pack Umbrella Hat.
20 June, 2015
The psychotic world of “doomsday preppers” usually focuses on terrorists or a nuclear bomb. But this guy’s gone in a different direction, using a volcano as his trigger to live the fun fishing-and-camping life he desires. One of the reviewers praises the book for its knowledge on “how volcanoes work.” Buddy, if you don’t know what a volcano is, your solution is another trip through third grade, not this book.
Of course, the main problem with all of this is that the thought process behind “Prepping” is solipsistic: these people want something terrible to happen to the Earth so that they can quit their job and spend the rest of their existence chilling somewhere, eating basement rice and charging their phones by burning sticks in a tiny USB canister.
19 June, 2015
This is a “sexy” wall sticker of a nun sucking a unicorn’s horn. It’s labeled for interior OR exterior use, in case the outside of your house is where you’d want to put it.
(The uncensored version is on the manufacturer’s listing.)
19 June, 2015
