You might think the natural companion to a polyester lawn canopy would be weights for the legs, or some furniture, or anything you’d use outdoors. Nope. It comes with a wooden comb.

Make sure you read the manufacturer’s answer to a customer asking why it comes with a comb.

Road Stars could be the name of a show on TLC, but, instead, it’s a piece of metal that you use to flatten someone’s car tires. I’m sure there’s some legitimate use for them, but like this pack of caltrops, they mostly seem to be fuel for fantasies about evading “bad guys.” Check out the customer reviews by terrified people saying they “keep them handy.” One even refers to “those times you’re being chased by a gang.” You know, a regular scenario that happens in your real life all the time.

This small tin contains an even-smaller bottle with a tiny amount of bitters, along with a spoon and two packets of sugar. It sells for an inordinate amount of money, considering that it doesn’t include the bourbon or rye that constitutes most of the drink. After all, a regular-sized bottle of bitters is about twelve bucks, and sugar, spoons, and napkins are usually free anywhere you’d be ordering a drink.

The only good takeaway from all this is that you can buy bitters online (this one is particularly good, FYI) since it’s not considered an alcoholic beverage, despite being full of alcohol. It’s the gentleman’s vanilla extract.

The Blackdove Digital Canvas is a 55″ electronic display that hangs on your wall that’s “powered by Samsung.”

In other words: it’s a television. That costs almost three times more than the exact same thing (a 55″ Samsung television) that is sold labeled as a television.

Curiously, this shirt is only available in adult men’s sizes.

Priced at a hair over “way too much,” the Boosted Electric Skateboard enables rich child and rich adult alike to zoom down a street like a fucking asshole.

There’s a video, of course.

The manufacturers of Noke, the padlock you unlock with your phone via Bluetooth, brag that you’ll save yourself from the “hassle” of keys by using your phone to unlock their $70 padlock. They then sell a separate $25 remote, which you attach to your keychain, to allow you to unlock your lock without a phone.

The battery inside is estimated to last a year, which is handy if you’re planning on using it over a longer period of time. Of course, it could stop working sooner, if the app fails due to an OS update on your phone. Or, as several reviewers note, if it quits working one of the first times you try it, sealing your clothes inside your gym locker (or your bike to a pole) for eternity.