Jelqing: Dick Myths

Jelqing is the technique of squeezing blood into your penis to temporarily, and, as the practitioners hope, permanently enlarge it over time. (It doesn’t, by the way, and can cause circulatory and nerve problems to your organ, making it numb or harder to achieve erections.) Still, millions of men across the planet have a pathological desire to enlarge their penis, meaning we end up with tools like The Penilizer.

For those who don’t want to drop the dough, there is a cheaper and commonly-used kitchen-tool alternative that seems to do the very same thing. Keep it in a drawer with your spatulas and no one but you and your permanently-damaged dick will be the wiser.