An eBook of Fidget Spinner Memes. As always, do not “Look Inside” unless you feel like making your day slightly worse.

Despite being marked “not for human consumption,” and sold in a sandwich bag with a printer label, customers of Grandma’s Georgia White Dirt all seem to be eating it. Some like the taste, some don’t, but they’re all chowing down on dirt.

“Enjoy pleasure between the different positions,” insists the manufacturer of this relatively expensive pipe-and-sling construction meant to be used for sex. You can see their diagrams of how you’d have sex on it, if you like (I’m leaving it behind the link in case you’re at work.) They also show a laptop and an iPad sitting on it, which seems like it might be the use it was actually designed for.

This is a cigarette holder, dude. It is NOT a crack pipe. Even though most of the reviews talk about using it to smoke crack, and customers who bought it also bought Chore Boy (the copper scrub-pad used to hold crack in place when you smoke it through a glass stem,) “oil burners,” which are little glass bulbs used to smoke meth, and torch lighters.

It’s just that sometimes you have to hold your cigarette with a glass tube while you’re scrubbing your pots and pans.

Now you, too, can learn to write like you were pinned to Pinterest in 2015!

This is a garden flag, because, I guess, an algorithm somewhere decided that people who vape also like to garden.

I can assure you, t-shirt, that it does no such thing.