Claiming it to be a form of “passive exercise,” the makers of this whole-body vibration platform included a Bluetooth connection so you can listen to music while you vibrate your body. Of course, as you might suspect, it’s dubious that this actually causes hypertrophy in your muscles, and it’s been proven that high-intensity vibration can damage your organs. So you might want to stick to actual exercise, or not exercising. Or sitting on your washing machine. Whatever works for you.

A nation faces a crisis, and it responds with an inflatable sex doll: the story of the United States.

I don’t speak Japanese, but Google tells me that the translation for the phrase on this childrens’ shirt, “ケツを食べる”, is “Eat ass.”

Go on, guess what this transparent-skulled baby is for before you go to the listing.

For only $30, you can have a mixed box of pens, printed with random companies’ addresses and slogans. The manufacturer points out that you’ll get “200 to 250 pens” for this price. A box of 144 Bic ballpoint pens costs about twelve bucks, which is 33% cheaper than the misprints.

Do you have your t-shirt celebrating Nashville as the largest-solar-eclipsed city of the southeast United States in the 2017 total solar eclipse?

(If you’re going to stand outside and look at it, BTW, you need some eclipse glasses so you don’t damage your eyes. The ones I linked are cheap and probably more useful than a t-shirt.)

Billed as “a new way to shop with Amazon,” the Treasure Truck texts you once a day asking if you want to buy the single item they have on board. If you do, you meet the truck and get your item. I prefer Amazon Go, the checkout-less store where you simply grab the stuff you want and leave, and where moving too fast may cause you not to be billed for your items at all.