Monthly Archives: February 2018

PanWaffle

panwaffle

The PanWaffle is a piece of cookware that you use to make a pancake-waffle. No, not pancakes and waffles. Just a pancake-waffle.

Pancakes are beloved for their fluffy, soft texture, and waffles are best when crisp, so I’d imagine a PanWaffle is neither. Not that, according to reviews, you can even use it without it falling apart.



Zombie Apocalypse

zombie-apocalypse-kit

The phrase “zombie apocalypse” is often used as a jokey term for emergency preparedness, which, if you ignore the “prepper lifestyle,” isn’t necessarily bad. It’s just that it’s always smelled a bit off to me, like it’s being used as a metaphor for “the good guys” hiding in a basement, fighting off people from a different race who want to consume your culture and turn you into them. The conservative fear of “White America” becoming multiracial America, except you don’t say race, so no one can complain, because you just said zombies.

Anyway, here’s a bag of knives for three hundred dollars.



Soap Diamond: A Ring In Every Soap

soapdiamond-a-ring-in-every-soap

That’s the title of the item itself. Soap Diamond A Ring In Every Soap. It’s not a great product, but when you compare it to the diamond industry, where children and adults forcibly work in mines under threat of torture and death, and the price of the products is kept artificially high through market manipulation, it doesn’t seem like the worst thing you could buy.






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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.