Monthly Archives: June 2018

Potato Gun

schylling-potato-gun

This two-piece plastic gun is sold as a “potato gun,” a utility it fulfills in name only. This right here is an actual potato gun, the dangerous pipe-based contraption that, traditionally, you spray hairspray into and then hope that it doesn’t blow up. It’s probably more fun to make it yourself out of some PVC pipe rather than drop a hundred bucks on a pre-made “Moon Cannon,” but this is 2018, a time when achievement has been replaced by purchasing, and where Do It Yourself is interpreted as a punishment.



Lynx, the Amazon Alexa Robot

lynx-amazon-alexa-smart-robot

This $700+ bipedal robot links to Amazon Alexa and walks around your house recording video and audio. The manufacturer brags that “Lynx is always getting smarter,” which is definitely something you want and not the plot of a dystopian movie. But, hey, you can ask it what the weather is outside, and it’ll tell you, so it’s probably worth the money, loss of privacy, and its likely inclusion in the botnet that will comprise the AI that overtakes humans within the next 40 years.



Morgellons Potassium Iodide

morgellons-direct-potassium-iodide

Potassium iodide is available pharmaceutically, as supplements for hyperthyroidism, or for those who don’t get enough iodine in their diet. It’s also used to prevent damage to the thyroid gland when radiation is absorbed by the body, either as part of medical treatment, or an environmental release of radiation.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t treat Morgellons, a self-diagnosed skin condition which has been classified as delusional parasitosis by modern medicine. Those who claim to suffer from it pick and scratch their skin compulsively, leading fibers from their own clothing to be embedded in their skin, which they then use as proof that they’ve got Morgellons. Spurned by the medical establishment due to the fact that their condition isn’t medically treatable, they are then led by online quacks to buy tiny $40 packages of salt to “cure” their Morgellons.

Also, the manufacturer claims “There’s nothing in it for Big Pharma,” which, to me, makes them Little Pharma.








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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.