Disappointing Moon Shoes

I remember trying these fuckers when I was a kid, and being disappointed that I couldn’t jump several feet in the air like kids in the advertisement seemed to do. I thought it was because I was fat, but it turns out it’s because they are shitty, and they don’t work for anyone. Vindication! I’m right behind you, “A Kid’s Review” from April 30, 2005, where you stated “NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER EVER EVER BUY THESE SHOES!!! I HATE THEM!!”