ValSlide

This “exercise kit” is two plastic pads you stand on, and slide around on, on the carpet, to exercise. It’s $29.95, which is a great price for two flat pieces of plastic.

You need to read the manufacturer’s description of what kind of fitness you’ll get by sliding around on these plastic pieces. It’s a core workout, AND better than “any machine”, AND you can use it at the gym. Because that’s what you need after spending thirty bucks on eight cents of plastic. You need the people rolling around on those big red bouncy balls to look at you and think, “Wow, I am definitely not doing the worst and dumbest exercise in this building at this moment.”

Seriously, read what they claim these two pieces of plastic will do for your body.