Some workers at Amazon are striking today, which is Amazon Prime Day. If that’s cooler to you than buying an Echo Dot for slightly cheaper than usual then you could skip the holiday entirely. It’ll still be a few years before the government mandates we add live microphones and cameras to our houses, so you might as well luxuriate in that while you still can.

The “Porkfolio” is an unreasonably-expensive piggy bank that connects to a smartphone app to display how much money is inside. Unfortunately, it only holds (according to the manufacturer) approximately 400 quarters. Which means that the Porkfolio is almost as expensive as the money it can hold.

EDIT: The price has come down, but it’s still not a great deal.

Will fried chicken achieve the “food meme” status that pizza and bacon did? It doesn’t matter, because this fried chicken shirt is terrible either way.

With the media fuelling fears that someone may be watching you through your computer or phone camera, you can now buy solutions for this problem. “But can’t I just use a piece of paper or any sticker or any piece of tape?” you ask. Yes! You could! But you could also buy one of these:

CamPatch ($7.99)

Eyebloc ($6.99) 

C-Slide Webcam Cover ($5.99)

Creative Cam Covers ($9.99)

CamJAMR ($5.95)

This thousand-dollar metal device is called “The Sledgehammer.” You put a computer hard drive in it, pull the crank down, and destroy the hard drive.

It is physically identical to the Grizzly Arbor Press ($110) which is the same item, minus the brand name. It’s the same color, and hilariously, it’s not rusty, unlike The Sledgehammer.

The book “199 Vaginas: The Ultimate Photo Collection” brags that the book will make you “feel like a gynecologist.” So if you’ve ever wanted to make a woman fill out a 4-page form before you spray vinegar on her cervix, this is the book for you.

If you watched crappy television in 2010, you probably saw a commercial for the Fushigi Magic Gravity Ball, a clear plastic sphere that you contact-juggle like a 2c-i casualty in a jam-band parking lot. It’s still being sold, and reviewers still hate it.