Monthly Archives: January 2020

Geeky Chef: Worse Than Normal Chef


You might be tempted to think a “Geeky Chef” is someone who is obsessed with crafting the most unique, best-tasting foods possible. Nope. It’s someone who mixes avocado and food coloring into a cup of milk and says that it’s a recipe for “blue milk.” (You can find worse if you use the “Look Inside” link, here.)

Shitty Pants


The euphemistically-named Goosh Pants brag that they are “light weight for wearing extended periods.” Which is what you’d do with a pair of white pants that’s made to look as though you’ve urinated and had diarrhea in them, and the urine and feces dripped down the legs of your pants, realistically staining them. (I had to blur these, but, if you don’t know what poop and pee looks like, feast your eyes on it over here.)

A Clock But With Words


The LED Word Clock isn’t the most annoying clock in the world. Sure, it costs a stupid amount of money, and it takes a practical function and turns it into a chore. But in my opinion, The Runaway Alarm Clock, which combines the unreadability of a small, unlit LCD with the fact that it rolls itself off of your nightstand on purpose, is probably the worst clock you could buy, if you’re looking to tell time.

Of course, neither of these is the Louis XVI bronze mantel clock, which is the price of a very nice car, or a small house (in Ohio.)

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