Monthly Archives: March 2020

USB Colonoscopy


While you could possibly, as someone suggested in the reviews, use this USB camera mounted to a 16-foot gooseneck cable to examine the end of your own digestive system, I don’t recommend it. You might puncture your bowels, or, if you get to the end of the cable, your small intestines. There’s a 45-foot model that might allow you to make the journey and come out the other side, which, again, is not recommended. Of course, you’d probably want to go down the hatch in this theoretical journey through the body, rather than drag the browser history of your digestive-tract up through your mouth.

The Least Useful Pan


Dividing a regular pan in two so you can “cook two things at once” isn’t terrible. It’s not my thing, and you can’t toss the pan to redistribute the food, but, fine. Dividing it in three sections would make it even harder to cook your three small piles of different food. But the “Master Pan”, with five sections, takes the cake. Or, I should say, given their picture of how they think you can use it, it takes the pancake, fried egg, bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, and potatoes.

Recon Jet Sunglasses


The Recon Jet is an insanely expensive pair of sunglasses that has a built-in LED display. It shows you what direction you’re traveling in, what time it is, displays any messages you get on your phone… you know, like your phone. Except on your head, because you think that going jogging turns you into the fucking Terminator.

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