Bobby Bully, The Child Your Child Punches

When you get bored of the typical punching-bag or adult-bad-guy targets to carry out your martial artistry, Bobby Bully is here to be your four-foot-two target of hand- and foot-based violence. It’s more realistic than the jaunty, infographic-styled purple Practice Buddy, though I have no doubt that any true practitioner of child-fighting needs both.

“My son loves to beat … when he is mad. It’s the perfect size for my 6-year-old,” says one unconcerned mom. “My very destructive nephews … beat up Bobby instead of my husband and me,” adds another. That might seem slightly insane, but from where I stand, if you don’t use consumer goods to address the symptoms of your problem instead of addressing the problem itself, then it ain’t god-damned America.