Fear Backpacks

Just like the bulletproof backpacks that came out after a round of school shootings a couple years back, the SkySaver is meant to capitalize on your fear of being stuck in a burning skyscraper in a post-9/11 world. It’s an insanely expensive one-time-use cable and rappelling harness that you use, once, to escape from the window of a room that’s up to 260 feet away from the street.

Since the only way to actually review one of these would be to blow a thousand bucks by testing it, there aren’t any reviews from people who have actually used it. And if your skyscraper catches on fire, and it fails to save your life, you won’t leave a review either. Given the statistics of skyscraper fires, and the limitations of this device, it’s likely that no one who has purchased one will actually use it as intended.