The purpose of a flask is to bring liquor where you shouldn’t, so this one-gallon flask defeats the purpose.

Unless you’ve got a pair of these.

You may have thought the new Sea Monkeys or the USB Pet Rock was the worst pet of all time, but today I present to you: the “easy to care for” moss ball. It’s a ball of algae in a jar of water. No USB connection.

The Shocker, a hand gesture from 2003-ish (not quite a joke, though treated by some as if it were) lives on in hat form. It’s by the makers of Cheeseburger Hat. Which is frequently bought with Pumpkin Pie Hat. The hat rabbit hole goes deep, so if you’re in the mood for “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought,” follow one of those links and see where you end up.

The best part of the Squirrel Toilet Paper holder isn’t the holder itself, but the “Customers Who Bought This Also Bought.” (Here’s the also-bought, to save you a click.)

One cup of coffee for Dad, and one glass of wine for Mom.

The theory goes that you would buy this ten-pack of magnets and then put them on someone else’s car to tell them to park better. This would, however, make you a much bigger asshole than someone who didn’t align their car in a parking spot to your specifications. A similar business-card-based product exists, but purchasing 100 of them might be even worse, as it implies you’re in the amateur-parking-cop game for the long haul.

The Fried Chicken Phone Case is not what it sounds like (a phone case with a picture of fried chicken on it) but is, rather, a regular phone case with a life-size piece of fried chicken glued to it. Check out the rest of the pictures.