I’m sure someone will come forward on our Facebook page to tell me why strapping your iPhone to your water bottle is a good invention, or to simply type, “This product is for disabled people. It is not one of the worst things for sale.” Until then, I remain unconvinced.

The charm of Beer Pong, if you believe it has any to begin with, comes from its low cost, flexible rules, and need for no supplies beyond the beer and cups you’re already drinking plus a ping-pong ball. Pingbot, a motorized remote-control whatever that does whatever, adds $34.99 to this process and requires batteries. Its true value lies in revealing the gall of manufacturers to steal the joy of our simplest, stupidest games, replacing it with plastic battery-operated garbage.

Feel like replacing part of your daily family social life with a gadget? Well, Did You Feed The Dog has you covered. Even if you don’t have a set schedule for feeding your dog, or a single member of the family assigned to the chore, or the ability to include feeding your companion in your daily routine of chores, there are probably easier ways to accomplish the task of feeding your dog. And if you can’t remember if you fed the dog, you probably won’t remember to Did You Feed The Dog your dog. But, whatever. Grease the wheels of capitalism, baby. Tape a metal sign to your house and keep the economy strong.

This LED light fits inside the neck of a bottle, and could be used with most wine or liquor bottles. The question of why you’d want a Southern Comfort lamp, on the other hand, has not been answered.