As I’ve noted before, there are some products where it’s obvious the creator thought of the name before creating the product, and Carbage Can is one of those.

The smoke that emergest from this incense burner comes out of the lady’s nipples. (The manufacturer’s pic is unpixellated, should you not be able to imagine what this would look like.)

For those who love the awful motion-detector paper-towel dispensers in public restrooms, you can now own one for your kitchen, and wave your wet hands in front of it over and over, until it finally dispenses a single paper towel.

Bitcoin, somehow, keeps increasing in value, and along with it, alternate currencies are capturing billions of dollars of wealth. Now that it’s regularly being covered in the mainstream media, and the average person understands it’s worth a shitload of money (if you can convert it back to dollars, which is more difficult than it seems) it’s dumber than ever to wear cryptocurrency shirts. (See this case of a guy who was kidnapped and had $1,800,000 worth of Bitcoin stolen at gunpoint.)

“Crypto Millionaire” is an obvious one, because it literally begs someone to steal your money, but the “99 Problems But My Bitcoin Ain’t One” shirt isn’t much better. And “Bitcoin Whale” literally means “I have a shitload of Bitcoin.” More obvious even than Bitcoin Whale is “I bought before it reached $10.000.”

Tangentially, the “Jesus Loves Bitcoin” shirt, while not an overt advertisement for your crypto-wealth, is only for people who never heard what Jesus did to the moneychangers.

Anyway, if you get biffed over the head with a rock in a sock while you’re waiting for your UberX, and someone steals your Monero, Ripple, or Ethereum by forcing you to authenticate a currency transfer, as this shirt says, “told ya.”

Just driving to, you know, church, with my extremely heavy zippered bible on the seat next to me. No need to open the bible, there’s definitely not a gun concealed inside.

Finally, after over ten years of being forced to use a clumsy stylus with our smart devices, a company has invented a finger-mounted stylus to allow you to control your phone and tablet with your finger.

Connect-A-Desk is a harness system that allows you to strap a board onto yourself, for carrying a laptop, clipboard, or… well, that’s pretty much it. There’s a small gallery of despondent people having to use Connect-A-Desk at work, none of them happy. I wouldn’t be happy either.

At least it’s not as dangerous as strapping your laptop to your steering wheel.