Sea Monkeys: Still Disappointing

Sea Monkeys have been around since the 1950s, and for most of their existence, they were cheap in their disappointment. You spent three bucks ($9 these days) and got a plastic tank and a packet with dessicated shrimp that “magically” came back to life when you dumped them into water. (The scientific term is cryptobiosis – the eggs enter a state of suspended animation when removed from water and resume their life cycle when rehydrated.)

Not content with this cheap disappointment, the manufacturer has released a $49 projector-tank so you can see a shadow play by your tiny, disgusting crustaceans. Watch them float around in water, eating the tiny pieces of yeast you feed them! Watch them… uh… exist… alive… maybe! Watch the dead ones exist very similarly to the alive ones! Like most of the American dreams from the 1950s, it was a brazen lie, perpetrated by brazen profiteers, yet continues to beguile our society to this day.