The CoffeeBar: “Eat Your Coffee”

The healthiest and cheapest way to consume caffeine is in a cup of tea or coffee. You can purchase coffee literally anywhere, or make it at home for about fifty cents a cup. To solve this “problem,” you can now buy a $30 box of CoffeeBars, which are small bricks of processed food, mostly carbs.

Thank you, Invisible Hand Of The Free Market! I am no longer chained to the zero-calorie hot drink with a plethora of physical and mental benefits! Bring me the rice-syrup-soaked mush of dates and quinoa!