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Category Archives: Uncategorized

Flatten Someone’s Car Tires

road-star

Road Stars could be the name of a show on TLC, but, instead, it’s a piece of metal that you use to flatten someone’s car tires. I’m sure there’s some legitimate use for them, but like this pack of caltrops, they mostly seem to be fuel for fantasies about evading “bad guys.” Check out the customer reviews by terrified people saying they “keep them handy.” One even refers to “those times you’re being chased by a gang.” You know, a regular scenario that happens in your real life all the time.



Airplane Cocktail Kit

airplane-cocktail-kit

This small tin contains an even-smaller bottle with a tiny amount of bitters, along with a spoon and two packets of sugar. It sells for an inordinate amount of money, considering that it doesn’t include the bourbon or rye that constitutes most of the drink. After all, a regular-sized bottle of bitters is about twelve bucks, and sugar, spoons, and napkins are usually free anywhere you’d be ordering a drink.

The only good takeaway from all this is that you can buy bitters online (this one is particularly good, FYI) since it’s not considered an alcoholic beverage, despite being full of alcohol. It’s the gentleman’s vanilla extract.











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Contact drew at drew@toothpastefordinner.com or tweet him @TWTFSale.