Please do not call your grandma “Meme.” If you do, then please do not buy her this sign, and absolutely do not buy her this “I’m A Meme” mug.

Single-use appliance? Check.

Expensive? Check.

Works only with proprietary, disposable pods? Check.

Tries to replace an ancient, nearly-free method of making the same thing? Of course.

Controlled by your phone? Hell yes it is.

Activ5 is more or less the same thing as every crappy home exercise device of the last 20 years, except it Bluetooths to your phone. Track how much you fucking squeeze it between your heels and rub your fist on it, I guess.

Thanks to Gamer Case, you can finally play a game on your iPhone.

Despite being marked “not for human consumption,” and sold in a sandwich bag with a printer label, customers of Grandma’s Georgia White Dirt all seem to be eating it. Some like the taste, some don’t, but they’re all chowing down on dirt.

Guzzle Buddy is a bottle-stopper attached to the top half of a wine glass, so you can drink wine out of the bottle, but also kind of out of a wine glass. Wine isn’t that terrible for you. It’s just that if you feel the need to be cutesy-jokey about how much you drink, it might be a sign that you have a problem.

At least it’s not an oversized wine glass that holds an entire bottle, engraved with “The Struggle Is Real,” which combines the jokey-drinky thing with “Mom Is Saying Rap Stuff Again.”

Four freight pallets, right? Read the single, 1-star customer review to see where this poor guy went wrong.