If worn by a person with an irony level of 5 or higher, this hat is a perfect “Da Motha FuCKIN Share z0ne” reference. Any lower level and you’re just a guy with an asshole hat.

HELLO I AM YOUR NEW GRANDMOTHER. I HAVE DISPOSED OF YOUR EXISTING GRANDMOTHER(S) AS THEY WERE SUBSTANDARD AND NOT NUDE.

The Dino Pet is a plastic dinosaur-shaped tank filled with plankton, which you feed “Dino Food”, and which rewards you by faintly glowing at night, before the plankton die.

How much do you pay for your scented candles? $5? $10? It’s time for you to make a real investment.

The Boys Bible brags “Finally, a Bible that’s just for BOYS!” Apparently the stuff about beating and stoning your wife was too girly.

Is there a Girls Bible? Yes, and it’s called “faithgirlz.”

“PREPARE FOR SOME SERIOUS LAUGHS,” promises the manufacturer of this Donald Trump toilet-paper roll. It’s, not surprisingly, purchased with this roll of novelty toilet paper.

How could you invent BikeBalls and then sell it as “Heart-Shaped Bike Light”?! You could have at least asked a few cyclists what it’s like to ride a bike and called them NumbNutz or BlueBallz.