Curiously, this shirt is only available in adult men’s sizes.

Priced at a hair over “way too much,” the Boosted Electric Skateboard enables rich child and rich adult alike to zoom down a street like a fucking asshole.

There’s a video, of course.

The manufacturers of Noke, the padlock you unlock with your phone via Bluetooth, brag that you’ll save yourself from the “hassle” of keys by using your phone to unlock their $70 padlock. They then sell a separate $25 remote, which you attach to your keychain, to allow you to unlock your lock without a phone.

The battery inside is estimated to last a year, which is handy if you’re planning on using it over a longer period of time. Of course, it could stop working sooner, if the app fails due to an OS update on your phone. Or, as several reviewers note, if it quits working one of the first times you try it, sealing your clothes inside your gym locker (or your bike to a pole) for eternity.

Your house is missing something, right this instant. Love? Warmth? A storm door? Nope. An old barrel, which functions as a sink. (Make sure you check out the rest of the pictures to see the barrel’s “features.”) But it’s cheap, at least, right? Hahahaha no.

Ah, this is what the world’s been missing! Nazi-flag decals for your PS4 and its controllers. Now you can, uh…. be a…. not neo-nazi guy who, uh…. just loves history.

No, you can’t cure cancer by drinking carrot juice. You can’t begrudge someone for coming up with bizarre ideas to try to cope with mortality, but you can absolutely begrudge them for telling other people to drink carrot juice instead of receiving treatments which are clinically proven to treat cancer.

At least, unlike giving bleach to autistic children, carrot juice won’t hurt you.

The Neck Hair Guide is a piece of plastic that you strap to your neck to cut your neck-hair straight across, by yourself. It costs $9.99. If you can’t tell if you’re cutting your neck-hair straight across, you won’t be able to see if the Neck Hair Guide is crooked, either.

It is, surprisingly, not by the makers of GoateeSaver, the goatee template you bite to hold on your face while you shave around your goatee.