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15 August, 2015
Remembering something isn’t the same as liking it. But, I guess if you actually liked the “Jazz” pattern which was on half the paper cups you used in the 90s, you can buy this mug, and continue to drink out of its teal-and-purple glory. You could also buy the definitely-unlicensed, doesn’t-even-wrap-around t-shirt of the design.
14 August, 2015
This is only funny if it only takes the baby a week to become accredited as a vascular surgeon, and she’s still a baby, so she has to crawl to the operating room.
13 August, 2015
The best way to make any thing in life less fun is to add a QR code to it. And the best way to ensure that it’s not fun at all is to require you to scan a QR code in order to use it. The “Truth Or Dare QR Cups” manage to do both of these things on their way to selling twelve cents’ worth of plastic cups for the price of a board game.
12 August, 2015
In the modern world of 3D printing and offshore slave-labor, why settle for a rhinoceros statue that’s only about 1/4 the size of a real one? Get the life-size stegosaurus statue. Sure, it’s over five grand including shipping, but according to the manufacturer’s picture, you can ride the motherfucker.
11 August, 2015
It’s always seemed strange to me that the people who are most obsessed with American patriotism, and the American flag, purchase products like this spittoon. But, hey… If you want to spit directly onto the American flag, you can do that. You want to wipe your feet on the American flag as a doormat? Be my guest. Put an American flag vibrator on your hotdog, or your hotdog bun, or your b-hole? Go for it. This is your country too, even if you disrespect the flag.
10 August, 2015
This is a real, and apparently quasi-legal, extract of cannabis. Despite the manufacturer’s labeling, CBD (cannabidiol) is indeed one of the psychoactive ingredients of marijuana. It’s being sold to treat anxiety, though how well it actually works would be something you’d have to ask your stoned dog about.
9 August, 2015
Call me Dad if you will, but I never got Snapchat. I use Twitter all the time, obviously, but Snapchat, I never picked up on. But that’s okay. It just means it’s not for me or the people I talk to online. Which is probably the same reason why I don’t get the Snapchat Beach Towel (above) or the Snapchat Stuffed Animal. I also don’t wear weird little ankle socks, which are “frequently sold with” both of these items. It’s another part of the world, and it lives by its own rules, and that’s just life on a planet with seven billion people (1.2 after the die-down in the 2020s, but you didn’t hear that from me.)