“Resolution” is a homeopathic dietary supplement which supposedly helps you lose weight. Of course, since it’s “homeopathic,” it’s literally a bottle of water.

An insanely expensive bottle of water.

But at least it’s not this $899.99 bottle of sixty homeopathic pills.

The field of chiropractic medicine is full of quacks. One of these is Dr. Burl Pettibon, who developed a system of weights that patients wear to “correct their posture” that is deemed to be asymmetrical or incorrect under his system. His practices advocate for the continual “correction” of patients who do not currently experience any pain or problems with their spine. As you might imagine, the chronic use of neck weights and traction can cause pain, nerve damage, and tissue damage that weren’t present prior to use.

But, hey, if you want to pay hundreds of dollars to strap metal bars to your head, it’s a free country. No one’s gonna stop you from ruining your body because you believed some guy who’s taking your money.

If you think about it, a fake coin used in sports for the “coin flip” is definitely worth five bucks plus shipping! It’s not like you can get a coin just anywhere, for twenty-five cents.

The iHUD is a small plastic box that projects an image of your smartphone’s screen onto your windshield, so you can watch movies or read email while you’re driving. It supposedly makes this “safer”, though I’d guess that having Facebook posts superimposed on your field of vision as you drive a vehicle would be less safe than glancing down at your phone. It’s also bizarrely expensive for what amounts to an LED screen inside a plastic box.

It’s been beaten into all of us at this point that using your phone while driving is dangerous, but for the majority of people, instant gratification trumps nearly everything else in life. The boredom of piloting a metal box down a highway at seventy miles per hour is too much to bear. The risk of causing an accident further heightens the rush of dopamine from seeing new content online. If you’re a conspiracy theorist, you might be inclined to believe that all of this is by design.

You can hit the “look inside” link on the listing if you want to see how far the rabbit hole goes, but just knowing that the author of “Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt” wrote a book called “Pounded In The Butt By My Book Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt“ is probably enough for most people.

Sure, any product labeled as “vaginal shrink cream” is pretty awful. But what pushes this one over the edge is the long list of reviews by men who said they used it on themselves.

Instant Teeth? As seen on TV? I’ll take six sets. Neighborhood kids call me Mr. Shark.