Some light from m’lamp, m’lady?

“The creamy beverage she feeds to dominant older men is flowing from her buxom chest,” reads part of the book description, and that’s probably all you need to decide whether or not you want to use the “Look Inside” link to read more of this book.

The author, Jezebel Divelle, is also the author of “The Dairy Diet,” which means exactly what you think it does, most likely.

Hunting animals with a bow makes sense, since it’s quiet, and won’t scare off other animals in the area when you shoot. But the Airow, a ridiculously-priced bow with a tube you can load with paintballs, doesn’t make a lot of sense. It sounds a loud “PTONG” when you fire, and other paintball players know you’re trying to shoot them, so it’s not like they’re going to wander around eating leaves until you do.

The answer is easy: Intuit, makers of TurboTax, has spent over $10,000,000 lobbying the federal government to keep it from reforming the tax code. Both Democrats and Republicans have been recipients of lobbyists’ money on this issue, and both have kept tax-reform bills from passing.

Your W-2 and 1099 forms should be arriving by the end of the month, so unless you’ve got the dough for an accountant, you’ll probably have to use TurboTax 2014 unless you’re in the mood to sweat out a stack of forms with a pencil, a calculator, and a heavy sense of resentment towards everyone involved.

Are you tired of your duct-tape wallet looking like an Etsy sort-by-low-price page? Throw your handmade DTW in the trash and treat yourself with a Ducti professionally-made duct-tape wallet. It’s a dipshit look with a regular-wallet price tag.

Dad, please. Take off that Long Sleeve Clubbing Shirt With Embroidery! You look like–

Dad. Please.

These ladies wrote a book telling people to give their children chlorine dioxide (bleach tablets that you put in a hot tub) to cure their autism. And, unfortunately, it seems like a lot of people did what she told them.