|
|
7 July, 2014
Jimmy, according to the seller of this $160,000 item, is a spiritual friend who communicates solely through a pendulum, which is supplied when you purchase Jimmy. Why would someone sell their spiritual friend, you ask? Well, according to the only customer review, “Jimmy is a dick.”
6 July, 2014
Let your mug release you from the prison of explaining your personality with words! Now, your coworkers will know at a glance: You’re a cock.
Ladies, there’s a similar one for you too, if that’s how you feel about yourself.
5 July, 2014
The shower is a quiet, clean, contemplative place for relaxation. The warm water and white noise of the shower running frees your mind and allows you to reflect upon your day, or to enter a blissful state of creative free-association. So it only makes sense that you would put a TV in there to drown out your mind’s only chance to breathe from the relentless ad-driven pounding it receives the rest of the day.
4 July, 2014
In a metaphor for our globalized economy, this American flag, one of the most popular flags sold online, was made in China. Happy Independence Day.
3 July, 2014
ManGlaze is nail polish for men. Too bad they already make nail polish for men. It’s called “nail polish.”
2 July, 2014
The dad roars, as if to scare off natural predators from his family’s dinner table. “I’M GONNA EAT DINNER WITH THE WRENCHWARE 3-PIECE CUTLERY SET THAT LOOKS LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKIN TOOLS!!!” The dog, unsure if he is in trouble, slinks into the other room, hoping to remain unnoticed.
1 July, 2014
The Pocket Hose is not just something you walk by at the drugstore and say “I already, heh heh, I already have a pocket hose.” It’s also one of the most poorly-reviewed items I’ve ever seen, having collected over 1,600 one-star reviews, mostly complaining that it develops leaks throughout the entire length of the hose as soon as you start using it.
Telebrands, the maker of Pocket Hose, responded by creating the Pocket Hose Ultra, a “3x stronger” version of the Pocket Hose, which already has over 100 one-star reviews saying that it breaks in the same way as the Pocket Hose.
Also, you already have a pocket hose.