The Worst Things For Sale

It’s a “Ball Sack” “for girls!” It’s funny because it’s a golf ball and not a testicle, which is a sex organ. It says “Girls need balls to golf” because testicles can also be called “balls”! So, this is stupid, and nobody wants it, right? Nope. It’s one of the top-selling golf accessories.

This book would have some potential if it weren’t full of entries like “In 1954, a man ejaculated 15 ml.” That’s all it says on the topic, no name, no source.

I’m sure the contents of this book were scraped together from a few websites and condensed into a crummy Kindle book in a couple of days, but I’d like to imagine that the author compiled it from his own research, hours and hours of knocking on doors, asking people “So, ever have a really large nude wedding? No? Okay, how about a… (looks at paper) anal gangbang with over 40 participants? No? Okay, thanks for your time.”

(If you’re in the mood for more unverifiable “sex world records”, there is, as always, the “look inside” link.)

Medical problems can cause your gas to smell horrendous or be produced in large volumes. So, assuming it works, the Subtle Butt “disposable gas neutralizer” might be great if you have this problem.

I put it here on this page for the customer who gave it one star because “I am looking for a product that will intensify the smell.” 

The GoateeSaver allows you to bite a plastic template to prevent you from messing up your goatee.

This “inkless pen” works with the magic of lead. The metal lead. You know… the neurotoxic metal that poisoned the Romans, that you have to scrape out of your old house using a respirator, that you have to test your kid for?

Lead is a soft metal, so if you draw on paper with it, it’ll leave a grey line on the paper. Made out of lead. Now you’ve got a paper covered in lead.

Just in case you think I’m confused and you’re all ready to send me a mad email – no, it doesn’t use graphite, which is the “lead” in mechanical pencils. It uses actual lead.

In case you’re one of those “bacon guys” who is also planning for a pending world apocalypse, canned bacon might be just what you need for your basement. The manufacturer claims it stays edible for 10 years after purchase. Of course, if the world has ended, it’ll probably be hard to get a refund if your bacon’s bad.

Macho Man slammed a big nelson down on the Hulkster. “You’re about to get wrestled!” he yelled. Then, he pushed a big toilet out in the ring, and he made Hulk poop on it, and Hulkster was crying, and everyone saw him, and saw his poop, even the Ultimate Warrior.

Recreate this amazing scenario with the WWE Hardcore Toilet For Wrestling Action Figures. It’s a toilet for your wrestling action figures.